Let’s be blunt, aku bukan pakar pantun kebangsaan mahupun pakar pantun peringkat zon gelang patah ke Sungai Dua ke. Wakil sekolah pun tak lepas. But pantun has been a passion, and as such I have been treating it with a certain degree of care and discipline one ought to have to be adequate (if not good) to talk about pantun.
And with that as a preamble/disclaimer/pre-mukadimah, allow me (in the spirit of Hari Raya yang tak berapa nak raya) to give a review on Pantun Raya as collected from wishes by various offices/responsibility centres in UM.
The methodology is easy, any raya wishes received via uminfo (um staff mailing list) that contain pantun or pantun-like or puisi of worthy consideration will be scrutinized, lightly analysed and will be rated accordingly from “Pantun ke?!” to “Cemerlang”. It’s a random rating system I just thought about while writing, therefore will need more time to match it with the common 5-star or per centum system.
In some cases, mostly if it clicks and kalau aku rajin (bukan aku nak ingat kau saje) some commentaries will be given both contextual and personal, and also if there’s a worthy pattern or common theme worth mentioned (sah-sah the common MAJOR theme is raya, but yeah, bear with me) some remarks will be included where necessary. The rough outline will be:
Rhyme
Comments on Pembayang
Comments on Maksud
Tema pantun
Rating
Out of 62 wishes sampled, 17 incorporates pantun in the wishes, giving us 27% of the total. Not a big percentage, perhaps another time to talk about acceptance of pantun usage in raya wishes. Out of this 17 wishes that incorporate pantun, there are 13 unique wishes. Length of pantun varies, the mode being 1 rangkap per wishes. Longest of which are 3 rangkap. With pantun defined as a form of literary writings in stanza of 4 lines, with a general rhyme scheme of abab, then we have sample of 17 pantuns.
I do sometimes use the term pantun loosely. And different people could argue differently on the criteria that make up a pantun. A brief glance through the 17 pantuns, there are those that could be pantun, could be seloka, could be just a karangan berangkap. So, whatever the verdict on classification I come up with, feel free to argue otherwise.
I believe there’s little use to talk about authorship. First because pantun when created, I believe meant to belong to public, anybody that has heard and wish to use the pantun in any way are free to use it. Pantun belong to a common large pool of literary users or language community. Secondly, out of all the wishes, only 2 incorporate (based on my search) original pantuns. The rest are, in no way to be condescending, taken right from the internet with no amendment. Mostly taken from https://theinspirasi.my/pantun-dan-ucapan-hari-raya-aidilfitri/
Let’s see the pantun!
1. Fakulti Bahasa & Linguistik; AKRAB UM
Kian berlabuh tirai Ramadhan, Lambaian Syawal kian dinanti; Luhur hati ikhlas kemaafan, Semoga kesalahan dapat dimaafi
Ada few pantun yang apparently diguna sama oleh multiple offices. Well, when we’re using pantun yang memang dah ada di internet, of course we bound to terguna pantun yang orang lain pakai jugak. Tak salah pun untuk guna pantun yang dah sedia ada, macam yang saya cakap tadi when it comes to authorship, I’m with the opinion that pantun belongs to people. Cuma maybe a courtesy atau ethic if pantun tu can be credited to the original sources/author/pemantun, then kita credit la. And better yet untuk something yang very personalised, you know macam ucapan raya kan, it won’t hurt to try to create a fresh one, dengan ingatan tulus ikhlas la katanya. And for an institution yang anti dengan plagiarism, well, you’ll be the judge.
This pantun will only works few days before Syawal. It’s time-specific sebab the first line signaling Ramadan is ending soon. So kalau kau bagi masa 1st or 2nd Syawal, kau ok tak?
Rima yang mencukupi tetapi boleh disempurnakan lagi. So instead of an-an, i-i, boleh diusahakan sekurang-kurangnya rima berlaku dalam suku kata terakhir bukan sekadar bunyi vocal terakhir. So if it was to be modified, they should consider rima (based on maksud) fan-fan, fi-fi or kalau based on pembayang then dhan-dhan/dan, ti-ti. More explanation on rima at Siakap Senohong Gelama Ikan Duri - the things with rhyme
Penggunaan ejaan Ramadhan pun akan menyukarkan pemadanan rima, sebab kalau ejaan Ramadhan ni, usually nak emphasise original sound of huruf dhod dalam رمضان so agak sukar nak padankan bunyi dhan tu dengan ejaan Bahasa melayu biasa. Jadi, mungkin lebih baik untuk guna ejaan yang standard dalam Bahasa Melayu iaitu Ramadan. Senang sikit nak rimakan.
Pembayang pantun agak risky, in a way it can be seen as tied (too) directly to the maksud; dia jadi satu penyataan yang berkait dari baris pertama, bawa ke baris ke dua, ke baris ketiga kemudian disudahkan dengan baris keempat. It may not look obvious but kalau kita teliti, kita boleh rasa yang this rangkap could better off as seloka or karangan berangkap. They are few other pantun that we have sampled that have this issue.
In term of tema maksud pantun, permohonan kemaafan yang sebenarnya among the major theme in raya celebration digunakan. Which is good, dia buat pantun ni terarah. Cuma since ni pantun 4 kerat, 2 baris maksud digunakan fully untuk tema kemaafan can be seen as a bit membazir ruang, tak compact enough. But it works nicely untuk sampaikan maksud.
Majority pantun dalam sample ni menggunakan tema permohonan maaf, rujuk pantun #2, #3, #5, #6, #8, #10a, #11b, dan #12a. But unlike that of #5 and #12a, this pantun only muatkan tema memohon maaf. Pantun #5 and #12b manage to fit two messages in their two last lines.
Few notes though, pengulangan variasi kata maaf pada baris ke-3 dan ke-4 macam boleh dimurnikan lagi. I mean, perbuatannya sama, menggunakan kata kerja sama, terbitan berbeza je. So kat situ kreativiti pemantun boleh dipersoalkan.
Baris ketiga seharusnya diarahkan kepada umum, pernyataan yang semua orang perlu luhurkan hari (muliakan hati/perasaan/jiwa) dan ikhlaskan kemaafan (dalam memaafkan kesalahan-kesalahan, perlu seikhlas boleh. Ini maksud yang baik. If it were to be returned to pemantun selaku pemohon maaf, then sorry, it will be masuk bakul angkat sendiri. As if the pemantun is saying “hati saya luhur dan mulia kerana dengan ikhlas memohon maaf dari si fulan”.
Rating: boleh la
2. Jabatan Oftalmologi, Fakulti Perubatan; Institut Sains Samudera dan Bumi (IOES)
Gemersik takbir mengundang tiba[sic], Salam diutus tanda ingatan, Syawal dinanti menjelang tiba, Salam diutus pohon kemaafan.
IOES has the first line as “Gemersik takbir mengundang hiba” which I take as the correct version since mengundang tiba need better context and explanation. Like, mengundang apa tiba? Therefore it could be the case yang Jabatan Oftalmologi copied it wrong or perhaps have different sources. But if it is the case they copied it wrong, dah la copy internet, boleh pulak copy salah. Yang copy tu pulak dari jabatan oftalmologi (mata). Are you sure?
That put aside, let’s focus on the pantun.
Rima hujung almost perfect: hiba or tiba pada baris pertama rhyme with tiba dalam baris ketiga on the whole last syllable ‘-ba’, it’s just ‘-tan’ from the second line and ‘-fan’ from the last line only rhyme on vowel sounds not the whole last syllables. It still works though as a pantun.
This pantun manages to have that internal rhyme in the second and the last line, although one may argue that’s achieved by some kind of cheat, sebab dia repeat the whole phrase. Though one must remember that there are pantuns that employs repetition of phrases in pembayang and maksud that has been accepted as a strong pantun such as ‘dua tiga kucing berlari’ or even ‘pisang emas dibawa belayar’.
This kind of repetition in certain situation can work in favour of the pantun because it makes the pantun easy to remember and thus easier to be passed around since pantun traditionally passed around orally.
Kata ‘gemersik’ mungkin boleh dipertimbangkan semula, based on kesesuaian sifat yang dibawa kata ‘gemersik’ kepada ‘takbir’ terhadap kesan bagi pendengar takbir tersebut. Gemersik atau ejaan sebenar gemeresik bermaksud bunyi menggeresek seperti kain atau kertas yang direnyuk-renyuk, atau daun-daun yang berlanggaran apabila ditiup angin. Boleh juga daripada kata mersik yang bermaksud kuat, nyaring atau lantang. So, kalau takbir lantang atau takbir yang berbunyi menggeresek (hardly could believe takbir can sound like this), macam mana takbir tu mengundang hiba?
Maybe kalau takbir tu sesuainya bergema, alunan takbir or takbir mendayu (ada meyh takbir mendayu?). Macam ni mungkin sesuai mengundang hiba. Although I was once informed yang takbir ni sebenarnya fungsinya untuk bangkitkan semangat. But then I guess, to each their own.
Tema maksud memohon kemaafan juga cuma di sini tiada pembaziran berlaku bagi 2 baris maksud tersebut. Baris ketiga menyatakan bagaimana pemantun menyatakan yang Syawal ialah bulan yang dinanti sama ada oleh pemantun sendiri atau secara umum, dan dalam baris yang sama menyatakan bulan tersebut semakin tiba. Baris ini juga menjadikan pantun ini agak time-specific. Sebab kalau raya kedua baru bagi pantun ni dia jadi macam “kau nak wish untuk Syawal tahun depan ke?” If it was meant to be sent masa hari raya, maybe the line could be adjusted to “Syawal dinanti telahpun/sudahpun tiba”.
Rating: Boleh la (kalau tak typo)
3. Muzium Seni Asia dan Galeri Seni Universiti Malaya
Tersusun rapi sepuluh jari, Bunga melur si bunga melati, Ucapan dihantar pengganti diri, Mohon maaf setulus hati.
Rima hujung perfect, ‘-ri’ pada baris pertama dan ketiga, ‘-ti’ pada baris kedua dan terakhir. Tiada rima dalaman, but that’s okay.
Pembayang macam agak tiber. Baris pertama menggambarkan keadaan 10 jari yang tersusun rapi, menandakan perbuatan menghulurkan atau menerima salam, membawa kepada perlambangan permohonan atau pemberian maaf. Lepas tu baris kedua dan dan bunga melur bunga melati. Macam, why? Ngakk nyambung.
Cadangan untuk mengelakkan pembayang berbunyi tiberr, mungkin baris pertama boleh dipinda kepada “Tersusun rapi bunga berseri,” Rima masih terjaga, dan baris kedua menjadi sambungan kepada baris pertama tanpa menimbulkan isu-isu syubhah.
Tersusun rapi bunga berseri, Bunga melur si bunga melati, Ucapan dihantar pengganti diri, Mohon maaf setulus hati.
Tema pantun berkisar tentang permohonan maaf. Penerangan telah dibuat seperti dalam pantun-pantun sebelumnya.
Rating: Cuba lagi?
4. Pusat Komuniti & Kelestarian UM (UMCares); Persatuan Pegawai Tadbir & Ikhtisas (PEKERTI)
Ramadan barakah pasti dirindui, Moga amalan diterima Ilahi, Syawal menjelman [sic] sama dirai, Dengan ucapan "Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri"
Pekerti managed to correctly copy the third line as “Syawal menjelma sama dirai”. But to disclose, UMCares send semula wish dengan pembetulan, so I guess they pun aware pasal ni and take initiative untuk betulkan. That’s great.
Baris keempat tu kalau boleh panjang lagi macam [Dengan ucapan "Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir Batin”]. Kau rasa?
Ramadan barakah pasti dirindui, [12] Moga amalan diterima Ilahi, [12] Syawal menjelman [sic] sama dirai, [10] Dengan ucapan "Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri" [16]
Kau faham tak? 12-12-10 tibahhh 16. Kan canggung kalau nak ucap tu. Kalau nak nampak normal kena letak jeda selepas ‘ucapan’ pastu start balik “selamat hari raya | Aidilfitri”. It may work kalau diucapkan, kalau kat poster tiada jaminan pembaca dapat baca dengan lenggok terbaik at the first try, pastu tengok kiri kanan sebab pantun sejenis apo.
Pembayang jelas sangat, dia at one point you boleh persoalkan tu pembayang pantun atau the whole 4 baris sebenarnya maksud, it just so happened rima dia rima pantun (walaupun).
Thing is, pembayang ni cantiknya kalau dia hanya sekadar memberi bayangan. Kalau dia berkait dengan maksud hanya melalui kias. Dan ini yang membezakan pantun sekadar pantun basa-basi dengan pantun yang mengandungi akal-budi orang melayu. So kalau pembayang tu macam jelas terlalu, and at certain extent dia jadi sebahagian dari naratif, pantun ke?
But benda ni depends dengan orang la, some are more lenient, some are stricter, I am maybe somewhere towards strict, tapi kalau macam alahai sikit jahh, boleh la kita terima. Hidup nak rigid sangat pun nak pergi mana eh?
I will later (in part 2) bawakan beberapa contoh pantun raya yang pembayang tak terlalu bersambung atau terlalu berjalin dengan maksud.
In term of tema, pantun ni tak bermain kat konsep mohon maaf bagai, pantun ni lebih berfungsi sebagai pantun memberi ucapan, like I don’t have to justify this, it literally says ‘ucapan’ in the last line. Bite me.
Rating: Almost there.
5. Central Research Laboratories
Tangan dihulur maaf dipohon, Tanda ikhlas mensucikan diri, Salah dan silap harap diampun, Semoga berbahagia di Aidilfitri
I won’t buy this pembayang as pembayang. And given that the pembayang could not really be pembayang, then this (in the strictest sense) could not work as a proper pantun.
Say, let’s just assume yang ni pantun or intended as pantun, rima abab dijaga, though not at its best. For it to works, this pantun could not be read in sebutan baku. Kata “diampun” perlu disebut seperti most of malay native sebut vocal u dalam suku kata tertutup KVK, that is [o]. So it becomes dipohon-diampon.
Tema dalam maksud pantun ini ada dua; pertama memohon maaf dan kedua pengharapan supaya berbahagia di hari raya. Unlike some other pantun yang focus kepada tema permohonan maaf, pantun ini mengambil peluang untuk tidak membazirkan dua baris maksud untuk menyampaikan satu tema sahaja. Which is a good try although I may add yang untuk baris ketiga dah build up daripada baris pertama, thus strengthening my point yang pembayang pantun ni boleh dipersoalkan.
Rating: Almost there like sikit lagi.
6. Jabatan Sains Kejururawatan, Fakulti Perubatan
Sungai disusur sehari-hari, Dalam gelap menangkap ikan, Kami menyusun sepuluh jari, Salah dan silap harap dimaafkan.
Rima hujung is great, ‘-kan’ in the first and third line and ‘-ri’ in the second and fourth line. There’s also internal rhyme in the second and fourth line (gelap/silap).
As for pembayang, this I would accept with no doubt a proper pembayang. As you can see, there’s no direct or obvious link between the pembayang and maksud. Although one may question why ikan yang menjadi inti pembayang, pembayang could at time used to reflect cultural aspect in life. This one reflects the daily life of fisherman, nelayan ke penangkap ikan kea tau komuniti yang bergantung kepada hasil sungai. And on why tangkap ikan dalam gelap, there are practices to catch fish at night by employing light to attract fish that more active at night. Also because at night, it won’t be so hot when compared during daytime. So, I would give a pass to this pembayang. Feel free to leave a comment on this or if there’s opposing opinion, we would love to hear it.
Tema, again, permohonan maaf di hari raya. We have cover this in previous pantuns.
Rating: Nice
7. Centre for Transportation Research
Raya tahun ini amat berbeza Tak dapat balik raya bersama Walau berada jauh di mata Ingatan tulus ikhlas tetap dirasa
I don’t think this will be a proper pantun. I mean the pembayang sejenis yang susah nak argue boleh lepas sebagai pembayang. From first line sampai ketiga tu macam satu perkara yang bersambung. I could be lenient on how to decide whether a pembayang is pembayang or not, sebab honestly the line could be quite blurry, but this case here macam dah tak boleh nak back up. Too bad suku kata terakhir setiap baris tak sama kalau tak dah boleh buat pantun boria.
This has been talked about in pantun #4.
Rating: Pantun ke?
8. Fakulti Sains Komputer dan Teknologi Maklumat; Pusat Perancangan Strategik Akademik (ASP Centre)
Ramadhan bakal beransur pergi Syawal menjelma di Aidilfitri Seikhlas hati menyusun jari Memohon dimaaf kekhilafan diri
ASP Centre have the fourth line as “Mohon maaf kekhilafan diri”
How Syawal menjelma di Aidilfitri? I thought Aidilfitri menjelma disebabkan kedatangan Syawal, thus sepatutnya Aidilfitri menjelma di (bulan) Syawal. Memadankan rima tidak patut jadi penyebab melanggar kewarasan pembayang.
Pembayang pantun ni pun agak debatable, the same case like #4, #5, & #7. It’s at best karangan berangkap. Seloka satu rangkap perhaps?
Rating: Maybe
9. Pejabat Timbalan Dekan (Pembangunan), Fakulti Perubatan
Salam dihulur tanda ingatan, Moga ukhwah sentiasa berkekalan, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kami titipkan, Buat keluarga dan juga kenalan.
Baris ketiga boleh panjang lagi. Buat satu perenggan terus. I know the desire to properly wish Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri sebutir-sebutir is very tempting, sangat mengundang, tapi kalau dah namanya pantun kena wajar dalam jaga kesesuaian jumlah suku kata setiap baris.
Salam dihulur tanda ingatan, [10] Moga ukhwah sentiasa berkekalan, [12] Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kami titipkan, [16] Buat keluarga dan juga kenalan. [12]
It would be better to keep the number of syllables between 10 – 12 then, such as
Selamat Hari Raya kami titipkan [12]
Aidilfitri orang akan faham from context, like 1 Syawal so Aidilfitri, takkan la raya korban kan?
One great thing about this pantun is that it’s not period-specific. Of course it will be weird if you’re going to give this during early Ramadan. What I mean by not period-specific is that whether few days before raya, malam raya ke, pagi raya or raya kedua or ketiga you can still use this pantun. Sebab there’s no mention of Ramadan melabuhkan tirai ke or syawal menjelma ke.
Rating: Almost there
10. University of Malaya Halal Research Centre (UMHRC)
Satu Syawal menjelang tiba, Takbir bergema mengegarkan jiwa, Sekiranya ada salah dan dosa, Ampun dipinta di Hari Mulia. Sekotak mancis secawan madu, Selautan kasih seluas rindu, Salam lebaran ucapan buatmu, Lepas PKP kita kan bertemu.
Rima kedua-dua pantun seems to be aaaa. Pantun kedua seems to be better described as aabb. No internal rhyme.
Pembayang pantun pertama seems debatable. This has been discussed in great length in previous pantun. Love the choice of gema for takbir, really paint takbir as something strong and dapat “mengegarkan jiwa”. Phrase “menjelang tiba” referring to “Satu Syawal” will make this pantun
Pembayang kedua could be considered as a proper pembayang walaupun macam agak tiber ya inti pembayang tu. Mungkin benda-benda yang dapat dijadikan perlambangan atau tanda ingatan pemantun kepada yang dituju?
Rating: OK
11. FAKULTI SENI KREATIF, UNIVERSITI MALAYA
Sambutan raya semakin sepi Akur dengan kawalan pergerakan Amalkan jarak patuhi S.O.P Pelitup muka jangan lupakan Langgar S.O.P jangan dicari Kena tahan disaman nanti Dari jauh menyusun jari Mohon kemaafan seikhlas hati Aidilfitri kali ini kita rayakan Menjadi pengalaman paling berharga Selamat Hari Raya kami ucapkan Semoga berbahagia seisi keluarga
I, in my very honest opinion believe that this is seloka. Therefore, if I were to discuss it using pantun framework, it won’t do justice to this 3 stanzas. The first stanza fits seloka perfectly. The second, though, sounds like there’s a separation between the first two lines and the last two. So, at a glance looks like there’s an attempt to make a pembayang there.
And given the rhyme scheme of pantun especially for the first and third stanza, one may incline to take it as pantun.
Rating: Great (if it is seloka)
12. Akademi Pengajian Melayu (APM)
Dalam bertutur ada khilaf, Dalam ramah terkadang salah; Salam dihulur memohon maaf, Beraya di rumah tetap meriah. Dalam ramah terkadang salah, Padahnya terasa menggigit jari; Beraya di rumah tetap meriah, Juadah raya makanlah sendiri. Jalan berteman bersama mualaf, Jalan raya tidak bertepi; Warga APM memohon maaf, Selamat Hari Raya dalam PKP.
Oh man, we have pantun berkait. Couldn’t expect less from APM. There are entries on pantun berkait if one need a short review on it. The key point is that the second and last line of the first pantun is repeated as the first and the third line of the second pantun respectively.
It's quite unfortunate that it’s not linked further to the third pantun, but hey, 2 rangkap of pantun berkait is better than none. And they really need the last pantun to be different so that it could be concluded faster.
Pembayang of the first pantun may be debatable, I mean the maksud of the pantun follows directly from the pembayang as if it was continuous sentence. Pembayang for the last pantun is somewhat tiberr. Macam perlukan konteks, sebab jump antara pantun kedua dengan ketiga tu for me agak tinggi. I may need more time to look deeper on these pantun.
In term of maksud, sebab pantun 3 rangkap, therefore boleh muat more isi. The first rangkap dapat memuatkan permohonan maaf and address juga kemeriahan raya. Plus point sebab dapat
Rating: Great
***
I guess that’s all for now, we’ll meet again in Part 2 where I will wrap up on the characteristics of an ideal pantun raya (according to me) with some example.
Till then.